Dispatches from the middle

Running used to calm me down; it used to provide almost immediate release from whatever happened to be trying my soul. But it doesn’t anymore, or, at least not immediately and without significant effort. I’m not sure why, but I find these days that stress actually has a negative impact on my running, instead of the running having a positive impact on stress. If I’m fretting about something, I have trouble settling into a rhythm, I can’t breathe properly, my legs feel heavy, and I can’t concentrate on the run. Fatigue sets in, walking ensues, flowers are picked, and that’s the end of that. It’s all I can do to walk-jog my way home. To say nothing of pushing myself; the notion of meeting a challenge is far too overwhelming, even when I crave nothing more than the mental peace that comes with post-long-hard-run exhaustion.

Trotting along the other day, about 15 minutes into a run that was going nowhere fast, gasping and sniveling, I decided that it really shouldn’t be this way. It’s time to turn things around. There’s precious little that warrants ditching a run or allowing an overactive brain to sabotage it. If it takes a while to get into the flow, that’s fine. If the run starts out slow and soul-crushingly awkward, that’s fine. If you have to promise yourself a quick 5km followed by ice cream just to get out the door, that’s fine. You can always add onto the route once you get out there. But not running, or stopping part way through for reasons other than injury prevention, will only make you feel worse in the long run. No pun intended…though it would be a brilliant one…

Putting on my shoes and getting out the door no longer provides assurance of a solid run though. In fact, it’s become the easy part. The real trouble tends to hit 10 – 20 minutes in. It takes about that long for me to work myself into a good old-fashioned frenzy, and I’m assuming I exhibit a roughly average time-to-frenzy. So what to do? How to calm the beast?

I don’t have a fail-safe answer yet, but there are a couple of things that do help. The first is simply shaking out my arms. This relieves tension, which, at least for me, tends to build in the neck and shoulders, eventually causing discomfort. The second is mental repetition. When I’m stressed, I tend to stage arguments in my mind. Someone yells at me, I yell at them, and it all (99% of the time only ever) takes place in my head. Terrible for a run! Practically the death-knell. The best way to deal with this is to repeat a phrase or sentence over and over – a mantra, if you will. It keeps the voices busy and helps establish a rhythm. Listening to music, I can imagine, would be very relaxing. I don’t usually listen to music while running, but it could be something to consider.

Thirdly, it’s important to learn what you need for a good run, and what you are looking for out of a run. Stay true to these points, and if you’re running with someone else, make sure you agree on the pace and the goal beforehand. For instance, I’ve found lately that I need a good 4-5km to warm up and settle in. There’s no point pushing the pace before that. I need to give myself that time and distance to get going. Similarly, while it’s not a great habit to become dependent on, sometimes a really easy run, or a walk break here or there, is just the ticket. And it’s always better than doing nothing. Along those lines, and touching again on feeling intimidated by challenge, going into a run with high expectations for speed or distance may not turn out well if you’re stressed to begin with. Worrying about having to get up early the next morning to run 10 miles before work only makes the idea of running unappealing. I find it’s more effective to leave myself plenty of time for a longer run, but decide how long to make the run once I get going. If it’s going well, I have the time to run longer, add a loop here or there, toss in some hills or stair repeats, and so on. If it’s not, I can keep it short without disappointing myself as there were no expectations of length or speed going in.

Finally, if quality training is a priority, it’s probably worth looking at ways to reduce the stress that’s causing the problem to begin with. Changing one’s habits just to accommodate running? Absolutely. It will benefit more than the running. Get enough sleep, eat well, and, if it helps, keep a list of relaxing activities and people you can call or write or meet up with for a good vent. The latter is a great resource when you’re so out of sorts you can’t even think of something to make yourself feel better (*sheepish grin*).

And now, in the interest of keeping stress low and allowing myself ample running time this weekend, it’s time to get back to Chapter 6…