Dispatches from the middle

Day 22 & 23 & 24: Sometimes I wonder how long the conceptual knots that I untangle (or convince myself I untangle) by writing will actually stay untangled for? Probably not long. Nonetheless, the next knot that I’ve set my sights on is work-life balance. Work vs. life/fun/freedom. Work vs. passion/enjoyment/meaning. Work seems to be popping up on the losing end of a lot of different dichotomies these days. The very fact that we’ll place it in opposition to life itself in a phrase so ubiquitous as “work-life balance,” says a lot about how the general population feels about work. We’ve excluded it from life, setting it apart from life’s joy, positivity, and vibrancy. So, then, with the topic being work-life balance, the question becomes how and why has work become so vilified? Beyond, of course, the slew of possible workplace un-pleasantries and the obvious fact that anything one HAS to do loses its novelty pretty much instantly.

The primary issue, I think, is allowing work to be singled out and positioned “in opposition to” in the first place. If we look at work as a separate entity removed and stealing precious time from enjoyment, adventure, fulfillment, meaningfulness, and relationships, it will become just that. By dreading it and disliking it on principle, we doom it to failure. While there are certainly – regularly, in fact – moments where I totally agree that work sucks and feel that I’d rather be doing anything else, I also derive a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction from it. First and foremost, I have met many amazing, life-changing people through various instances of work. Work generates connection. It creates a forum for building on similar interests and skills and for identifying and exchanging complementary ones (whether they necessarily have anything to do with the job or not!).

Work is one of many manifestations of connection, of any given person existing and functioning within a network. Where is the difference, really, between writing a report at work, taking care of your brother’s dog, training for your next marathon, and sitting down in the evening to work on the novella you’re slowly and lovingly piecing together in your spare time? It’s all activity and it all stems from and furthers connection. Some of these things are done by choice, some out of necessity, some for personal fulfillment, and some for the benefit of others, but they are all instances of action within a network. Don’t say you haven’t thought of a potential audience for that novella, and the marathon, while a hugely personal goal for some, will be run by hundreds, maybe thousands, of other people and attended by throngs of organizers, volunteers, and spectators. Work is very simply part and parcel of not living in a vacuum. So let’s talk then about life balance, with work being one object among many to be taken into consideration.

Quick about-face that isn’t really – in the interest of being somewhat contrary, and because most everything there is to say about balance has already been said – and more than likely published with glossy pictures – I’m going to say a word for imbalance. Temporary imbalance, at least. There have been many arguments – and good ones! – made for the benefits of balance that I think we all feel compelled to strive for it. All balance all the time – balanced diets, balanced budgets, and so on. Perhaps we feel too compelled. I think it’s important to make allowances for temporary imbalance, to allow ourselves to succumb to it without worrying, especially if it leads to balance in the long term. Some weeks my work at the university is just too busy for me to do much work on my thesis. If I have a conference on the weekend, I may not have the time to fit in a long run and might fall short of my desired weekly mileage. It’s impossible to achieve balance every day, or every week. However, taken over longer periods of time, balance is imminently achievable. If one week is heavy on the work, perhaps the next can include an extra thesis day. I stopped trying to weasel a marathon into this year long ago; there’s just not time for it. However, I can concentrate on half-marathons and spend this year getting faster, which, wonder of wonders, is working like a charm! Balance strikes me as close to impossible to achieve consistently on the micro-scale of days or weeks. However, looked at over the course of months or years, depending on the factors being considered, it’s hard not to balance out. So perhaps one of the keys to life balance is not sweating the imbalance when it does occur. This, in turn, might serve to take a bit of the heat off work, which is, despite all romantic notions of connection, often the main culprit in generating imbalance. As long as the imbalance isn’t permanent, it’s probably not worth as much worry as we give it.

Day 25: I realize I totally fell off the blogging wagon there – and as much as I like my thoughts on work and life balance, it’s a stretch to say they’re really representative of three days worth of musing and faffing. Aber, na ja. A quick return to running! I ran the Rotary Run for Life yesterday, a half-marathon held in support of suicide prevention. Over the last couple of weeks, I did a few track workouts and had some good tempo runs. Other than that, my training has remained the same. I wasn’t sure quite what to expect out of this race, but, in the end, I managed to knock a further four minutes off my time, bringing it down to 1:43 and making my goal of 1:40 by the end of the year look a lot more reachable.

I decided to pick up where I’d left off with the Edmonton Half and see what a faster start and a more aggressive race overall would do. With the exception of the first two kilometers – as far as I could see – I kept every kilometer under 5 minutes. This is significantly faster than I would usually start out, and I had to constantly fight the fear that I wouldn’t be able to maintain the pace. There was no way to tell, really, but I’m glad I didn’t give in to the urge to coast. As it turns out, it wasn’t necessary; I can maintain that pace and could probably go faster still. It would seem the biggest impediment to running faster is the fear of running faster. Silliness. But also good to know!